Appreciation

If you are a PhD student, or were PhD students, you would probably agree with me that the process of pursuing a PhD is very challenging. It's challenging both intellectually and mentally. The intellectual challenges arise from pushing the boundaries of what you already knew to trying to understand and rationalize what you don't know. You explore the unknown based on what you knew, and learn through the journey. The mental challenges often come along with this explorative process. Although you are equipped with your well-formulated hypotheses and you posses great technical skills to solve the problem, often times, you will end up finding one mystery after another because things may not work as you expected, which could come intrinsically from the subject matter or it's just an instrument malfunction. Then, considering the limited resources you have: you don't have forever to solve this problem because you want to graduate and get a real job, considering what you have achieved versus what you have failed, and considering someone constantly bugging you for results, this explorative journey can be daunting and draining. Ultimately, your confidence drifts away and it's just so hard to tell yourself "never give up."

As we all know, we human beings are social animals, and it's essential for us to form bonds with one another. This is where this topic: APPRECIATION comes in.

A little appreciation of what happen to you today may do the trick to make you feel something like: Wow, the world doesn't abandon me or wow, something good can still happen to me. I think this act of appreciation is essential, and I have tried hard to build a habit of thinking about 3 things to appreciation every morning when I wake up. Coincidentally, this is very similar to what Sheryl Sandberg has just shared during her commencement speech at UC Berkeley.

However, one aspect of appreciation I want to emphasize is to think of the good times you have with your previous teachers/ mentors. Think back when you were an elementary school student, or in the middle or high school, where you spent most of your days in a year. Who were the ones that stood by you when you felt miserable, lost, or frustrated? Even if it's just a push of saying "never give up" " I have faith in you" "You can do it." A couple of teachers that I had good relationships with pop up in my mind. I remembered that I felt safe enough to reveal my vulnerability in front of them, and they could still see the strength in me. They spent time communicating with me; they took extra time to work with me to help me improve what I was practicing like writing; they were patient and accompanied me to grow. They helped me become stronger to face any obstacles that have yet to come. 

The reason why I think appreciating the good teachers or mentors you had is crucial is that in reality, not every boss, teacher, or even a pedestrian you meet on the street are kind and patient. Not everyone believes in you, even if you believe in yourself. Sometimes, people even try to discourage you by despising you, by ignoring you, or by condemning you. It's harsh, and can be unbearable. Suggest by my psychologist, I started practicing this habit in times of fear or a simple frustration (what? can a frustration be simple?). And I have found the thinking of a caring teacher helpful. 

So, why not make it a habit so that you can rewire your brain when you feel drowning. Think of ONE incident when a caring teacher had pushed you. ONE is enough, as long as there were a bond that touched your heart. In my own practice, this aspect of appreciation often doesn't come in my morning ritual when I tried to appreciate 3 good things that had happened the day before. 

Lastly, I really appreciate the teachers who believed strongly in me in my school years. I thank them for touching students' heart and helping them grow. They probably have already forgotten the instances that I remembered the most, but the heart of caring does carry on and can pass on from one individual to another. Thank you, my beloved teachers.